Look through the profiles of Sub Male users that have joined Submissive Fantasy that are associated with BDSM.
Talking to others who have like minded interests is a great way to find things to do on a first date.
It is worth being on there, though, and it is free. You will find out about local events and regional/national events.
If you post in the forums on fetlife it gives you the chance to engage intellectually with people, which can lead to meetings.
Dating others who have like minded interests is a great way to find things to do once you are dating.