This also works if you’re in a more established relationship.
Let’s say you don’t see your boyfriend as often as you’d like.
Control dating relationships
But then you don’t hear from him for a day or two and immediately hit the panic button. In his mind, the relationship is going great, he’s happy to have met a great girl like you and he can’t wait to finish this big project so he can see you again. You’re relieved, but at the same time, you are so in it now.
And then the devastation starts to creep in…followed by the doubts. He’s happily going along doing his thing while you are knee-deep in heartbreak mode, mourning the loss of what could have been and trying to figure out where it all went wrong. You cling to the relationship even tighter because you remember how miserable it felt when you thought you lost it and you vow not to do anything to screw this up.
This isn’t to say a relationship can’t do these things, it’s just that these aren’t the elements upon which a healthy relationship is built. A relationship is an experience to be had and shared.
A relationship also isn’t some sort of milestone, a sign that you have “made it,” that you will be OK, that you are now a member of some elite club. It is about discovering how compatible you are with someone else, and if there is enough chemistry and compatibility to form a lifelong partnership, also known as marriage.
Most understood the point I was making in the article, but rather than relaxing and just going with the flow, they wanted to know: “How can I fix it if I was stressing too much? It causes problems within the relationship, and more importantly, it takes a huge toll on your sense of self and self-esteem.