Definitely join both fetlife and collarme but keep expectations in check. It does not have a search function that works for dating.Collarme has relatively few women and a majority of those are pro dommes. However, you can join groups with a local focus and groups focused on kinks that interest you.It is worth being on there, though, and it is free. You will find out about local events and regional/national events.
Try Collarspace.com, large dating site, and Fetlife.com, the latter will give you information about local events as well , amongst other things.
Be careful, a lot of ignorant people and some scammers on Collar Space. Fetlife is more like facebook for kinksters, with a lot of bells and whistles.
If you are hot, you may get some free play at parties and events.
If you are not hot but personable, networking within the community can eventually get you play.
If the words “tied up” get you hot under the collar and extremely turned on, then you need to run to and sign up for a membership immediately. The fetish personals websites we reviewed cover a wide range of fetishes from BDSM to master/slave relationships, spanking, humiliation, bondage and so much more.