I also wondered if my hesitation had to do with a (lingering? Yet, the lack of sexual heat was an indisputable fact.) case of commitment-phobia on my part, rather than any real doubts about the situation at hand; maybe the supposed chemistry conundrum was just a cover for my fear of getting closer to him. (Trust me on that: About six months after we broke up, Jake said, "The sex really wasn't very good, was it?I had to accept the fact that I had rolled the dice, and lost my best friend.
It seemed like the perfect idea: date an already-close friend. Initially, the problems stemmed from the slow-burn of our relationship and the fact that we never really sat down and defined what we were doing. The unhappy ending to the story is that both of us lost friends over it.
The trust is already there, you already have the structures and habits in place for hanging out together, and adding sex into the mix is just a bonus. Of our mutual friends, there was a clear delineation of who stuck with him versus me, and there has been little to no crossing of the aisle." —Meg, 27"A different side of him came out""After just a couple of months, he seemed to become a different person from the friend I'd known for so long.
It was an uncomfortable security, which we both knew would inevitably change. Not wanting to hurt him, I kept my conflict inside until it imploded into a hazy mess. Even though our romantic relationship mutually fizzled, our friendship dynamic never truly recovered.
Dating your best friend is a major risk, but holds the promise of amazing rewards. Our hangouts grew more infrequent, but picked up like they had never left off.
We would often run into each other in our group of friends after that, so it took all the acting chops I could muster to keep our mortifying hookup a secret from everyone else, including his ex-girlfriend.