At each stage, there is often a decision (sometimes more thoughtfully arrived at than others) to move forward or to end the relationship.
Often (not always) there is not enough “is this the right person for me” but rather more “what can I do to make this person like me?
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It is not so different from a 40 year old dating a 35 year old.
I pretty sure I was dating a 17 year old when I was 20.
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Meanwhile, just be friends with the 20 year old, but don't get involved with them for now.