How hard is it to just say, “Hi, how are you doing today? Seriously, to this day, this is one of my all-time favorites. Following in the escalation footsteps of our bachelors above, below we have the exact opposite – the “hello’s” that seem to get more and more effortless on each round… After enough small talk, some guys like to just get right to the point… Essentially, it prevents them from wasting time on an introduction if the girl isn’t interested. Some men like to tell you exactly how your profile made them feel… Seriously, you have to initialize every word you possibly can in your “Hi, how are you” intro?? I would have loved to see him try to initialize “how.” Which brings up another point… I’m all for that IF you do not repeat your script, guy… Perhaps sometimes people wonder if others understand what “Hi” means. This tiny little blond head could barely keep up with you.
Here are 20 examples of online dating message “hello” fails… Note: I personally received every one of these messages. It took him three tries to get his own name right in his introduction. Am I getting old at 31 and too far removed from the hip lingo of the youngins?? This guy did an escalation within the same message. He did escalate in the second message, but upon failing to do that correctly, followed up with a third… A few guys have told me that the literal “hello” is a time-saver. ” moments, immediately realizing their mistake and scrambling to redo lol. Some men are simply too busy to type full words in their “hello” messages… DATING TIP: In Ok Cupid’s blog post, Exactly What To Say In A First Message, research found “[…] it’s smarter to use no traditional salutation at all (which earns you the reply rate of 27%) and just dive into whatever you have to say than to start with hi.” I do believe we have ourselves a full-blown booty call “hello,” ladies and gentlemen. He’s not even going to say hi or attempt to have a conversation. Some men like to use a script (as I suggested in the intro to this post).
I purposely wrote a sarcastic bio that would absolutely baffle anyone with less than half a brain and a complete lack of the type of humor I find so delightfully amusing. I get a lot of the confused “hello’s” and I get down on my knees every day and thank the universe for giving me the inspiration for my bio.
This guy couldn’t just say “hello.” He had to go the “smooth, aloof, don’t give a shit” route until when all that failed, his resentment for my lack of responses got the better of him… Let’s all give an official, collective “Goodbye” to these awful “Hello’s.” Hope you enjoyed :).
In most cases, I think it’s because they’ve either forgotten that they messaged in the first place or they figured the 2nd, 3rd, or 100th time’s a charm. In this next case, dude asked for assistance on just him… I think I’m the girl not responding to your “Whoa mama…” Some guys really don’t understand that ignoring is the universal sign of “I’m just not that into…” STOP ALREADY!!! I’ve found a lot of men feel entitled to a response to their intro messages. What they don’t seem to understand is that my inbox is overflowing with bullshit “Hello” messages and I simply refuse to provide a courteous response to every single guy that messages me.
In this case, this gentleman not only followed up with a second message, but he followed up to ENSURE I did in fact receive his first message… I definitely got that incredibly important and well thought-out first message, guy. And what the f^&% is up with the lack of punctuation, guy??? I would prefer to get off the site at some point during the day and run an errand, eat, work, or do ANYTHING ELSE. Oh, and based on his pics, he’s definitely not 70 years old, as opposed to what his profile suggests.
Coffee Meets Bagel, the dating app that serves up a small number of targeted matches each day, has today introduced a new video feature to help users connect right on the app.