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Cognitive scientist and public intellectual Steven Pinker urges us to step back from the gory headlines and prophecies of doom, and instead, follow the data: In seventy-five jaw-dropping graphs, Pinker shows that life, health, prosperity, safety, peace, knowledge, and happiness are on the rise.

Perhaps the best advice you can give someone about having a relationship with a married man is telling her not to even start. As my friend Jenna* told me, "You can't help who you fall in love with.

You may realize that you have no claim legally or financially, but you would think there'd be an emotional attachment or bond between you and your lover.

In fact there usually isn't after the affair is over. Even though he has a deep feeling of love for you, he is able to process it in an unemotional way.

You need to have a life that works and that is full enough to withstand the pain of the eventual breakup. A solid circle of friends and a social life separate from your hidden life with him is a necessity.