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Then to top that off, when our adult children don't seem to care that they are going nowhere we end up lost for words to explain, even to ourselves, how we feel. I told her once, it's like she's 'possessed', and I'm in some kind of science fiction movie.

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And when we see them going down a path to nowhere it's upsetting. My daughter, too, sounds so Jekyll/Hyde-what's with that?

We also want to be happy for our children, yet when they choose paths that lead to nowhere we don't think they are going to end up happy so that's upsetting too. She is the nicest person ever when she's NOT with these 'losers'.

Although, she might get a preview here and there in light of this Carver boy proposing marriage and all. Make room in your life for someone who truly and completely loves you. Maybe the love you find will be different from what I found. So let's stop trying to be perfect parents and just be real ones. Get 25 incredibly helpful cheat sheets that will ease your parenting struggles.

Related: How to Reconnect With Your Spouse Like Magic, According to Science Dear Abby, I can’t tell you how love will feel for you.

Have all of the successful brothers-in-laws and older sons and males who are decent with women, who honor women. And have him sitting next to these people and let her watch. The stakes are very high so let her work it through. If its truly abusive and you worry about her safety, get to a shrink quickly and let them take on that task.