Her values—whether or not she wants kids, how commitment-oriented she is—are a lot more essential to a healthy relationship, adds Kate Stewart, a Seattle-based therapist and dating coach.“Making sure those things match up are a lot more indicative of whether or not a romance will last than superficial details like salary." The fix: Go ahead and have a list of things you want in a girl, but put the things you need Maybe you always date free-spirited girls or find yourself going after more intellectual, serious types.That’s fine—as long as you’re occasionally open to dating someone different.
More often than not, early dates are spent searching for some sign as to whether or not you’re a good match for the person sitting across the table from you. Right, but if you find yourself down and out time and again, you might be setting the bar too high—or worse, too low.
Holding out for a better fit—or settling for a so-so chick—is common, and setting the right expectations isn’t always easy.
If the first thing you do is make fun of how she pronounced "chianti," it could be a sign you are looking for flaws, Beyer says.
“People will be nervous and say awkward things on a first date, but if you’re not looking for those moments, it’s easier to see the big picture of all the good things the girl has going for her." The fix: Unless she spilled wine on your lap on purpose or cursed out the waiter, get in the habit of finding something nice to say.
The fix: “Falling in love requires bravery,” Beyer says.