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Neither could older sister Venus, merely the second-best tennis player of the past 20 years. Serena only compromises with herself."I've thought it would be cool to have a baby young," says Serena. "I've got to practice, ugh." Then her face brightens. I'm getting them done in colors that change with my mood.

"You know, be my road dog – like my dogs, they travel the world – but there's always something you have to give up for success. Now, that I'm looking forward to."She turns around and sarcastically sings a few bars of "Oh What a Beautiful Morning" in a not-bad voice.

She runs women's tennis like Kim Jong-un runs North Korea: ruthlessly, with spare moments of comedy, indolence and the occasional appearance of a split personality. Serena is the number-one tennis player in the world.

And she would not have given a flying fuck what you thought.

She's never been more dominant than now, at the age of 31, which is about 179 in tennis years.