We found “A” to be an outstanding officer – and whatever her duties – she performed them cheerfully with efficiency, diligence, sincerity and competence.
This surely would not add value to her Technical Experience.
Once “A” left the Navy after 7 years to search for a job – she would be at a professional disadvantage as compared to her “Techie” counterparts – who were gaining valuable relevant experience and domain expertise doing Technical Jobs in the Industry.
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Just trying to put his behavior and personality in context. It is hard to give you advice without knowing either of you but these are things you should discuss with him. Their public persona is the most important thing often in the absence of a private persona. But there is a depth of insecurity there too, that I just haven't seen before in previous boyfriends.